"For The Boy's Sake"

Hey Big Sis,

I'm so glad that you got me up and running again on our blog site....It's been way too long since I've posted anything!!!

Well, I'm officially retired....at least, I thought I was. Actually, I have substituted my weekly hours of work with being a full-time grandmother/caretaker to my youngest grandsons, 4 and 5 years old.  My son was just awarded temporary "primary" custody of the boys and a court date is set for this coming Friday.  Divorce can be so ugly but I find a mother who is "unfit" and who puts her children's lives in danger to be even uglier.   

There are so many incredible women out there who would give their right "limb" to become a mother and can't. And there are so many who take the responsibility of having children "too lightly" and are undeserving of having these precious "gifts from God"... These are just my personal opinions and observations that I'm expressing from a "wounded" grandmother's heart.

It's the little ones who are doing the suffering and their lives are turned upside down right along with their parents.  They are totally confused so they "act out" and understandably so....These are my new challenges and struggles of being a different type of  "grandmother" to my suffering grandson's emotional distress....I have good days with them and suffer right along with them on their bad days.  My role of being grandmother has changed so dramatically.  As confusing as it sounds, my role has reverted back to "mothering"...loving, nurturing, comforting, teaching them manners, playing games, reassuring, reaffirming that they are loved above anything else. We will weather this "storm" together and hopefully they will come out of it without too many scars.....Along with the many heartaches I have witnessed the little ones going through, I feel that they know one thing for absolute certainty; that I will be there for them, always! A grandmother's abundant love runs deep and overflowing! I know my house is their "safe haven" just as I know my "Heavenly Father's House" is the same for ALL of us.....with HIS abundant love for us, always...

I pray that God continues to give me the strength I need to fulfill this opportunity to reshape/remold these young grandson's minds with all of HIS goodness/love at Bible School on Sundays and by my unconditional love/example on a daily basis. It is the solid foundation that will carry them throughout their lives. I also pray for my son to continue to be a loving, positive role model in his son's lives. He definitely has stepped up his responsibilities by being a very proactive parent. Big Sis, please keep us ALL in your prayers for strength, wisdom and guidance for the sake of the boys....God Bless! 

Love, Hugs & Blessings,

Little Sis

Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him.......

Psalms 127:3

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it....

Proverbs 22:6 

My Brother, My Nephew, My Reunion

On July 7, 2011, I was so blessed to be able to see my nephew, Mike, whom I haven't seen in over 40 years...It was a dream come true reunion for me and my children. The last time I saw him was in California when he was 2 1/2 years old before his mother took him back to Texas where she filed for divorce from my oldest brother, Keith. Divorce is so extremely devastating for everyone involved and the heartbreak affects all family members, especially if they move several states away.

Seeing my nephew after all these years was very emotional and bittersweet. He turned out to be an outstanding, amazing, wonderful, kind, loving and caring man with so many more awesome qualities. I am so extremely proud of him and all of his accomplishments. He is a retired Coast Guard after 21 years of service and he continues to work hard for his loving family. I caught myself hugging him every chance I could get and just staring at him throughout the evening because he looked so much like my brother with his mannerisms and all but his demeanor was so gentle and sweet; so opposite of my wild, rebellious, older brother.

I briefly thought of my brother and the way in which he was raised by a father that was way too hard on him. I am ashamed to say that my father was not a "good father" or "role model" for my brother. My father was physically and emotionally abusive. Too many times my father would call my brother "worthless" and as he grew older, it hardened him, toughened him and he grew angry. So angry that he enlisted in the United States Army and volunteered to go to Viet Nam. There was no love lost between the two of them and they never once saw eye to eye on anything. The only time I ever saw a change in both of them was on my beloved mother's death bed. My oldest son who is a Pastor spoke to his grandfather about the importance of "forgiveness" and it was then, over 50 decades of my brother's life did I witness them "forgive" and begin to love one another, as they both embraced and wept.

My brother attempted to connect with his son on a few occasions but it was not meant to be. He wrote a final letter to his son while he was in a hospital in Arizona. He did not get a response but who could blame his son after a lifetime of disappointment. He never saw his son again and passed away on April 10, 2010 from lung cancer and kidney failure.